Here is another example of a TV news story that went to air – can you see the problem?
“They’re not generally known for their brainpower, but scientists from Israel have managed to train goldfish to drive”
Are they saying the scientists don’t have much brainpower OR the goldfish?
I’m guessing the writer means the goldfish – but the way it is written it sounds as if the scientists are not known for their brainpower.
In previous posts, I wrote about misplaced modifiers.
I often get ‘pushback’ from fellow journalists that it doesn’t mater and that the viewers will be able to work out what the writer means – but it is so easy to avoid the problem in the first place. Just keep the modifying words close to the noun they are meant to modify.
In the goldfish case:
Goldfish are not generally known for their brainpower, but scientists in Israel have taught them to drive.
When I teach broadcast journalists and journalism students to improve their writing, there are plenty of examples like this to illustrate the point.
Make sure the modifying words modify the right noun. Keep the noun and the modifier close.
This sentence was taken from a TV news story that went to air. Can you see the problem”
“Crazed and covered in blood, police were forced to taser the man who’d kicked and officer in the chest.”
Yes, the way the sentence is written, it sounds as if the police are crazed and covered in blood.
The words ‘crazed and covered in blood’ modify the first noun that follows.
The rule of good writing to avoid misplaced modifiers is to keep the modifying words close to the noun they are meant to modify.
I understand the urge in news writing to start with the most dramatic words and use the active rather than passive voice, but the sentence as is sounds ridiculous.
You could change it to something like:
Crazed and covered in blood, THE MAN was tasered by police after he kicked an officer in the chest. (The CAPITALS show the noun meant to be modified.
OR
A MAN, crazed and covered in blood, was tasered by police after he kicked an officer in the chest.
A modifier at the start of a sentence is called a dangling modifier (or ‘a dangler’) and often causes problems.
There are so many memorable examples. One I remember from my writing teachers: After eating my soup, the waiter served me dessert.
It sounds like the waiter ate my soup.
Misplaced dangling modifiers often occur in broadcast news because of the need for drama, the need to write to the vision and the need for brevity.
If you start a sentence with a modifier make sure the words modify the correct noun.
Have you noticed The Maldives is in the news a lot lately?
How to YOU pronounce it?
I used to pronounce it ‘incorrectly’. I hear really smart and senior news people pronouncing it the same way I used to pronounce it – Mal-dives (with Dive pronounced like Drive). I’m guessing it’s a ‘generational thing’ on how we were taught to say place names like The Maldives.
These days, it’s easy to access resources on how to pronounce names (including place names) correctly. I recommend the ABC Pronounce guide
According to ABC pronounce (and other resources) The Maldives is NOT pronounced MAL-dye-ves.
Mal (as in Malcolm) Dives (like drives).
The correct way is more like the MOL-deevs
The Mal is pronounce more like Mol or Mawl.
The Dives is pronounced like deevs.
What do you do if the reporter has already pronounced it incorrectly in the recorded package – yet the newsreader knows the correct pronunciation?Do you aim for correctness or consistency?
In my opinion, from working in news and now teaching at a university:
if a place is going to be in the news a lot, spread the message across the newsroom how to pronounce the name correctly.
Be aware that many senior staff (over 40) were probably educated at school on out-of-date and incorrect ways to pronounce names. Dare to update senior workers on how to pronounce place names.
If the reporter has already mispronounced the name and the newsreader pronounces it correctly and you can’t change the reporter pronunciation, tolerate the inconsistency (because there are probably more urgent matters to correct in getting the bulletin to air. Try to prevent the mistake in future stories/bulletins.
My main point is that more senior staff were possibly educated at a different time and they may pronounce place names incorrectly. (They may also think their way is the correct way)
Dare to keep staff updated on correct pronunciation. If they get it wrong – dare to inform them of the correct pronunciation.
As a young radio newsreader in the US, I was always told by my bosses if my Australian/British way of pronouncing words was wrong for the audience – words like aluminum, jaguar, Nicaragua.
Bosses took the time to try to stop mistakes happening again. (Nicaragua was big in the news back then!)
One last point. Your audience DOES care about how you pronounce local suburb names.
Nothing marks a reporter as an ‘outsider’ (a ‘blow-in)’ or out of touch was mispronouncing a local suburb name.
Reporters often move around stations, so it’s important to inform them about how to pronounce (and spell) local suburbs.
In broadcast media (with audio) pronunciation is important.
Your newsreaders are valuable – the trusted face of your news.
Checking words your readers must read AND words ‘seen on the screen’ next to them should be manditory – or rather mandAtory.
People familiar with news and the media understand that the newsreader does not write all the scripts or write the words that appear on the screen in the background.
To the pubic though, it appears that the reader makes the mistake or is associated with the mistake.
I was always taught to ‘protect the readers’ from embarrassing mistakes by taking extra care in checking the words the reader reads – story intros and LVOs ( Live Voice Over stories where the reader reads words live over vision).
I understand that newsrooms these days often have to pump out more news with less resources and fewer people to ‘check and correct’ – but in my professional opinion, newsrooms need to have a process to check and correct ‘words near the reader’.
By this, I mean the words the reader must say AND words seen with the reader (the background words next to the reader as the reader reads a story intro).
These days, I teach future journalists. That includes passing on practical lessons I learned from working in newsrooms and trying to protect readers from errors.
Part of the news desk job included checking the intros and checking words that appeared on the screen near the reader.
Sometimes, errors would slip through, but you did your best to reduce the errors – and let ALL writers know of mistakes to avoid.
An example of a ‘preventable mistake’ is a common term in this COVID era: Contact tracing.
It’s contact tracing – not contRact tracing as was read by the newsreader. It was an obvious error and one ‘associated with’ the trusted and respected reader.
As I mentioned, mistakes DO slip – especially when a lot of news is happening at the last minute – but you should try to prevent ‘preventable mistakes’. Journalists should know the correct term is Contact Tracing.
This story was about an event in South Australia and perhaps the error was written there.
Still, it should have been picked up and changed.
My main advice to upcoming news writers – make the effort to protect trusted your readers from mistakes – check the words the reader must read and check the words ‘seen on the screen’ next to the reader. This should be manditory. Let me correct that to mandatory.
This post was inspired by seeing/hearing the word ‘sewerage’ used incorrectly in a TV news bulletin last night. It’s a common mistake.
As a young reporter, news bosses ‘drummed into’ me that:
sewerage – is the collection of sewers
sewage – is what’s inside the sewerage (collection of sewers)
Maybe, newsrooms and audiences don’t care about old-school correctness any more. Maybe, correct word usage has been flushed down the sewers of time.
These days, as a university teacher, I try to help ‘future journalists’ be aware of confusing look-a-like/sound-a-like words such as sewerage/sewage, principal/principle, flaunt/flout etc.
An easy way to remember which words to use – sewage/sewerage:
The clues are in the word!
SEWERage – refers to the sewer system.
Inside the SEWerAGE system is sewage.
I predict, there will be several stories to follow about COVID being found in the SEWERAGE system – so newsroom bosses should let writers know how to use the terms correctly.
In the example above, the samples were of sewage inside the sewerage system – not samples of sewerage.
If you need to improve your writing for broadcast news, try this simple ‘trick’ I pass on to journalism students and newsrooms I teach.
“Shun the shon” and ‘release the verb’.
By “Shun the shon’ I mean look for/listen for those words that end in a ‘shon’ sound – words ending in -ion – decision, opposition, recommendation etc.
These words are usually parts of longer expressions based around NOUNS. You can save valuable syllables and time by releasing the verb inside the longer expression.
For example:
The Federal government has made a decision.
The Shire President is in opposition to…
Look for the ‘shon’ words ending in -ion and the longer expressions – has made a decision toand is in opposition to.
Release the verbs!
The Federal Government decided.
The Shire President opposes…
Generally, releasing the verb make your writing tighter and brighter…and more active.
In part 1 where we spoke about adding the now to news by tweaking tense with the aid of an ‘introductory thought’ – As we go to air… x IS happening
Another ‘trick’ is to avoid verbs – especially in the headlines at the start of a bulletin or in ‘breakers’ used to ‘tease’ the stories to follow after a commercial break
We use the same example as part 1 – where earlier in the news day there has been a mine explosion that has injured five workers.
Headlines and breakers are often fragments rather than fully formed sentences.
So, you can use the noun rather than a verb. Nouns have no tense so they are not ‘dated’ by whether it is past tense.
Rather than saying a car explodED or a boat explodED or a mine explodED – you turn the verb explodED into a noun – explosion – so you write car explosion, boat explosion or mine explosion.
As the image above shows – the wording is mine explosion...
The captions show the script and the words the news reader (or reporter) is reading.
When I teach newsrooms or university students, I pass on simple ‘tricks’ to tweak tense and express meaning in as few words as possible.
You could just write: Five injured.
the words five injured omits the ‘implied verb’
five miners (have been) injured. You can even omit the word miners – five injured.
Broadcast writing is about making fast choices and you can develop fast ‘reflexes’.
In broadcast, every syllable is time and effective writers often get the meaning across in the fewest words.
Five miners have been injured can become five injured
It all depends on what is most important. I was always taught to have the most important words at the start. In the next part I’ll share some fast reflex techniques.
These days with so many people getting their news on-line and through social media throughout the day, an evening TV news bulletin can sound so ‘old’ and stale.
You need to add something fresh with what’s happening now to the news people may have already heard or seen.
These days more than ever – NEWS IS NOW.
What is happening NOW? You start with what’s happening now in the story reader intro and even in the first sentence/s of a news package – then go to the past elements of the story that lead up to What’s Happening Now.
Let’s just say, earlier in the news day there has been an explosion in a mine and five workers have been injured.
When I train newsrooms and university students to write for broadcast, we target the verbs and tense. We always try to avoid past tense (if possible) when you can write in a present tense.
For example, we try to avoid the past tense used in phrases such as:
Five workers have been injured
a mine explosion has injured five workers
a mine explosion has left five workers…
We look out for words in the past tense – ending with -edor ‘irregular’ past tenses such as left.
We also look out for the words hasand have and was and were – that usually are part of a past tense.
A Simple ‘trick’ is to start your writing (but don’t include) the introductory words ‘As we go to air…’
Ask what is happening NOW – as the story goes to air. Remember you don’t have to say the ‘warm up’ words (in brackets) used to help you find the present action.
For example, you could start your introduction with something like:
(As we go to air) Five mine workers are being flown…
(As we go to air) Five mine workers are in x hospital…
You can see how the above words ARE in the present tense using ARE.
We flip past tenses to present. I encourage writers to make sure they have no -ED words but instead use an IS or an ARE.
When I teach university students and newsrooms how to write for broadcast news (radio and television) we discuss the importance of simplifying numbers.
(This image above is a good example of simplifying and rounding off numbers – the words at the top are what the reporter actually said.)
Simply and ’round off’ numbers for several reasons.
Numbers take time to say – 493 – four hund-red and nine-ty three – al-most five hund-red Every syllable counts.
More importantly, it’s harder for a listener to ‘hold numbers’ in their heads. Too many numbers can ‘overwhelm’ the listener or viewer.
Also, try to have less numbers in your report/package.
The above image from a TV report is a good example in my professional opinion as it provides both the ‘easy approximate number’ and the ‘detailed actual number’ in the graphic.
The eye takes in information much faster than the ear. Often, when print journalists move into broadcast, they need to change their style in how they express numbers. They often include too many numbers in their reports.
These days, multi-media journalism requires a combination of both print and broadcast skills. So, just remember when it comes to expressing numbers, simplify, approximate, round up or down.
In the case of numbers, ‘near enough is not just good enough’ – it’s a best practice in broadcast writing and presenting.
This post was inspired by seeing many mistakes in news bulletins – involving a missing letter U – plagUing, PortugUese…
It’s as if the writer is spelling words phonetically and they are unaware that some words require a ‘silent U’.
Of course, many writers are aware of the need for a U after Q but as the examples above show other mistakes of words needing the silent U often slip through to appear on screen.
As a journalism teacher to university students, I have great respect for how much young aspiring writers and journalists ‘know’ – however correct spelling is sometimes overlooked. The students I teach are much smarter than I was at their age – but I stress to them the importance of knowing how to spell ‘common words’ correctly.
Why?
Because many people in the audience who still get their news from Free-to-air news are ‘mature’ and the…
Bard of Breaking News (Breaking Bard) 